Magic Items
Potion Deux
A cloying, sticky, bubbly beverage which hits the tongue with a “citrus rush and buttery aftertaste.” A lot of things can happen when you drink Potion Deux. Heck, things can happen if you don’t drink it. However, you’re guaranteed a +2 to your next action when you do drink it, side effect notwithstanding…
Adventure Wax
aka Dungeon Butter This is a paper-wrapped stick of a lardlike substance. The printing on the wrapper reads: “Let your foes know you’re so boss, you don’t even need to break a full sweat to defeat them! Apply to skin to activate patented Battle-Hardened Sheen™. Less Greasy, More Shiny!”
Bag of [H/Sc/F/K][a/e/i/o/u][l/r][d/t/n]ing
Similar to a Bag of Holding, but with some multi-faceted and multi-lettered beads on the outside. An attached tag reads: “Arrange my beads to spell my purpose.”
Heat-Seeking Fireball
From the context of runes on the scroll, you determine this spell casts a huge fireball that seeks the second-hottest thing in the scroll’s vicinity.
Dungeon Rooms
The Gazebo of Elsewhere
This room contains a collection of randomly rotated obelisks, two huge tapestries, and a large gazebo. The gazebo contains a strange fountain, whose water, like the tapestries, is of the color of a television tuned to a dead channel.
The Demonic Automat
This room represents a new concept in the Dungeon Catering industry. Staffed infernally, but the impish employees need never interact with a bunch of surly adventurers, as all refreshments are dispensed in self-service coin-op cubicles. Adventurers can be assured that they can get food, healing and other items commensurate with their ability, as an on-premise … Continue reading The Demonic Automat
Chests and Pipes
This room consists of twenty stall-like rooms, each of which contain a single wooden, iron bound chest. Above each is a large metal pipe. Are the pipes connected in some way to the chests? What comes out of the pipes? Is there anything in the chests? Well you’d better find out, because you’re locked in.
The Summit of Caprola Sleech
This room represents a new concept in Monster Preservation. Typically, a dungeon is created and then populated with a selection of denizens. This room allows the dungeon to come to the monsters. Or monster, in this case. The mysterious Caprola Sleech dwells at the top of a remote mud volcano, but now, those that seek … Continue reading The Summit of Caprola Sleech
Player Characters
Viklos
The Barbarian and Cat Fancier You come from the land of ice and snow, and for some reason that compels you to strip down to your fuzzy shorts and hit things with a sword. No seriously, you’re the kind of northerner whose family were probably all killed by iguana cultists who wanted to the steal … Continue reading Viklos
Crouté Chapelure
The Unbread Constable aka the Whole Wheat Walkeraka the Shambling Loafaka the Boule Ghoul As an animate skeleton covered in a dense layer of animate bread, you were baked into existence by the infamous Necroalphitomancer, Mmse. Pétrissage. Never heard of her? Well, nobody’s ever heard of a bread zombie, either. You remember bits and pieces … Continue reading Crouté Chapelure
Giardo Pumpkinfarmer
Evil Cultist Totally Reformed Cleric You are an adorable, fluffy-haired and fuzzy-footed hobbit who is thrall to an outer god whose name no mortal tongue can approximate. Your chipper demeanor, affectionate nature, and willingness to sacrifice friends, relations and passers-by to your Dark Master earned you an unlimited stay vacation at a correctional oubliette in … Continue reading Giardo Pumpkinfarmer
Jorli Satch-Anvilsson
Heavy Mithril Bard You’re the originator of “Hack and Slash”, a type of battle-song: magically amplified and heavily affected by a rare sonic plant called a “distortion petal”. This music is known to make passive crowds leap to their feet and to make enemies cringe. This, of course propelled you to the heights of fame, … Continue reading Jorli Satch-Anvilsson