The Unbread Constable

aka the Whole Wheat Walker
aka the Shambling Loaf
aka the Boule Ghoul

As an animate skeleton covered in a dense layer of animate bread, you were baked into existence by the infamous Necroalphitomancer, Mmse. Pétrissage. Never heard of her? Well, nobody’s ever heard of a bread zombie, either. 

You remember bits and pieces of your life: you were a big city constable, had a spouse and lovely growing family, and that you’d been mortally wounded in the course of your duty. 

You were in hot pursuit of the Gasket Phlangemore gang, and as the chase lead out of town, they’d ambushed and disarmed you. Then came an abundance of arrows, not only to your knee, but most everywhere else as well. They left you for dead in a forest clearing, the scent of baking coming from a nearby cottage.

The last thing you recall is a frizzy-haired, engoggled madwoman looming over you, shouting to a ragtag bunch of frightened looking young mages: “We can rebake him! We have the pastry!”

The aftermath of this strange fate was less than pleasant. Your old precinct was ‘not on board’ with diversity re-hiring standards, and you found that your family moved on, very quickly, when they heard you were trying to find them.

This tragedy turned you hard (crusty) and so, you vowed revenge upon Gasket Phlangemore and her hooligans. You’d heard that the gang was a frequent attendee of the Dungeon Circuit, and when you went to investigate, the organizers fell over themselves to give you a spot on the show. Maybe the riches will come in handy…